She looked down at her thighs and then at her arms. Cuts marred every inch of her skin and she felt like the most beautiful creature to walk the face of the earth. She dropped the razor blade into the bathroom sink and looked at herself in the mirror. She felt alive, she felt like she existed. She didn’t feel like a nothing anymore. She smiled to herself and pulled her shirt back on, the hem falling to her knees and covering her scars.

She walked past her parents’ bedroom and touched her hand to their closed door. She thought she’d cry, but she didn’t. She turned to the opposite door and placed a hand to that door. Her sister. The girl’s brow furrowed with irritation and she pulled back sharply, before walking down the hallway to her bedroom. 

She closed and locked the door. She looked at her room then. She cleaned it and rearranged everything. She walked to her bedside table and took out the bottle of sleeping pills that she had gotten from Emi at school. She shook the bottle in her hands. She decided she’d take every single pill. She reached under her mattress and pulled out a bottle of whiskey that she had taken from one of the parents she babysat for. 

She placed both bottles on her bed and slipped out of her t-shirt. She grabbed a cream coloured dress from the desk next to her bed and pulled it on over her head. Throwing the t-shirt at her a basket in the corner of her room, she grabbed the bottles and opened them, no hesitation as she moved. 

She took half of the pills and knocked back the whiskey, its taste leaving burning trails as it and the pills went down her throat. She drank more whiskey to wash the rest of the pills down. When the pill bottle was empty, she downed the rest of the whiskey ignoring the silent drumming in her head.

She threw both bottles off her bed onto the soft carpeting. She laid her head down and smiled.

She reached under her pillow and pulled out a note. These things have notes you know. On the envelope, written in lowercase print was “Thanks for the support.”


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